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"Are you some kind of damn moron?"

This last Saturday night, Avs, Ashley, Amy, Tami and I went to Bonkers Comedy Club at the Argosy Casino. I left my truck with the valet and went in. The show itself was something to write about, but that's not the point of this post. . . Afterwards, we decide to go to Fatty's for a little drinky-drinky-poo and I hop in my car and head down there. Still, nothing abnormal with this. We drank and danced a little and then decided to go to a friends for an after-bar. I get into my car, alone, and head that way. Then . . . out of the blue . . . I hear a voice talking like it's coming out of a CB radio . . .

What could this be? Where is it coming from? Who is talking? Are they talking to me?

Me, being ever-so-slightly more than buzzed, start to freak out a little. I actually dropped my chapstick out of my hand into the unknown abyss of the floor of my car. I think crazy thoughts like: Is someone in the back of my car? Did I buy a CB and forget about it? Oh-muh-gahd, is this a set-up by the cops because they know I'm driving drunk?

No, it was none of these things.

Some damn moron that was either parking or retrieving my car left his damn walkie-talkie in my truck from the casino! So naturally I had to play with them a little. You know, the usual crap you pull with people on walkie-talkies only this time the people I was talking to didn't know who I was and I was a little drunk, if you can imagine how that went. Long story short I ended up telling them what happened and took it back to them the next morning. But if this had happened to Papa Joe I KNOW it would have merited two fingers to the head!

Retirement encourages disasters

My truck is in the shop getting repairs on some little dents and a rear view mirror that was unexplicably removed last christmas. So, as a result, I'm driving Mean Green- my dad's 4-door F250 diesel extended cab with a topper that's so big that I can't go through some car washes. Well, this morning after class I went to my parents house to bum around until my next class. Mean Green has a winch on the front of the truck that makes the truck about 2 feet longer but you can't see it from the cab so if you're not experienced in driving this tank-beast you may not realize that its that far out. So was the case this morning when I crashed into my parents garage- winch first. You'd expected my dad to throw a fit and curse and make me fix it and/or pay for it. No. That didn't happen. He looked almost happy about it. Like, now he actually has something to do with his day other than play freecell, workout or take 3 hour lunches since he's basically retired. Granted, I didn't bombard through the garage, it was only a chunk a few inches large out of it. But still, you'd expect a small fit. He was almost relieved to have an excuse to have something to dink around with. Man, does he need a good hobby. Maybe I'll teach him to latch hook.

Jorge Il Curioso y el cocinero de tortitas de plátano

I was playing around on Yahoo music site and found this little gem! It's the video for Jack Johnson's new song "Upside Down" that's on his new album that comes out Feb. 7 (Whoo-hoo!!!). I LOVE THIS! Not only does it have fabulous Jack but it has warmly quirky Jorge Il Curioso from the new movie! Double treat! Enjoy!

http://music.yahoo.com/video/28643580/

This Weekend's Boyfriend

Meet Kevin, or as we lovingly call "Big Circle" (make your own assumptions). He was our special boyfriend of the weekend. Big Circle enjoys drinking copious amounts of beer, slapping our asses and helping his wife pawn off their sons on us. Big Circle was one of the many attendees of Ashley's birthday party this weekend, also known as "Festival of Ass Crack 2006"














I need to change the title of my blog to
"The Dumb Redneck Shit We Did This Weekend".

Hooker D's "What's Worse?"

Something in class today made me start thinking about "What's worse?" situations. These are a few I've come up with. Let me know what you think is worse.

What's Worse?:

Waking up next to someone you don't know or waking up alone?

Getting caught picking your nose or having a "Flapper" all day without knowing it?

Super expensive drinks and cute guys at a bar or super cheap drinks and sub-par guys?

Dating a friend's ex or dating an ex's friend?

A gorgeous face or a great body?

Getting nothing for your birthday but having fun or getting things you hate and have to pretend to like?

Having diarrhea or constant vomiting?

Spending Christmas in jail or in the hospital?

Being forced to listen to Weird Al or to Carrot Top?

Having a nice dog that pees in the house or having a mean dog that's potty trained?

Being known for something scandalous or being completely unknown?

Having no friends or having no memory?

Having no parents or your parents being in jail?

Golden girls reruns or Full House reruns?

Having ugly children or being really poor?

Having a boyfriend that's completely in love with you that you could care less about or being completely in love with someone that is only a friend?

Finding the perfect dress, shoes, whatever, but there's a major flaw in it or having a ton of money and finding crap?

Having a fat ass or a fat stomach?

Having a great education or being blissfully ignorant?

Married parents that truly hate each other or having a step-parent that hates you?

Telling that person how you feel about them or the safety and self-preservation of hiding it?

Sleeping in a smoky room or sleeping in the cold?

Working an extra shift for someone who really needs it or having a much needed day off?

Think about 'em and let me know.

Line dancing classes

Tonight Avs and I are going to our first ever line dancing classes at the Eagles Club on Singing Hills. Soon we'll be boot-scootin' with the rest of the hip old folks at Fatty'z backside. Whooo-hooo!

Untapped Resources and a Stellar Concert

I've been pretty delinquent about blogging lately mostly because the internet is down in my apartment and I'd have to go to Papa Jim's or school or whereever to get online. But some note worthy things have been going on lately. Namely, the Brad Paisley concert. In a nut shell- Yeehaw boozed super fun! We went up to Sioux Falls just in time for the concert, got really drunk at the concert, and annoyed most of the people around us. (But we were havin' a hoot-n-hollerin' good time). Afterwards Avs and I went out with one of her buddies from high school, Nick Something-or-other. We went to a couple bars and then to a Fryin'Pan (definately need one of those in the SC!) By that time we were drunk and beat so we just crashed at his house. Other than that, lately we've discovered an untapped resource right in my own backyard! South Sioux City, NE! I know what you're thinking, "You've got to be kidding, right?" I'm absolutely not kidding. There's a whole city worth of new boys and bars and trouble to get into right down the street! Our favorite place so far is Fatty'z and Fatty'z Backside (a country bar). We've been spending time there w/ my best friend from high school, Ashley, her parents and the whole clan that goes with them. Even the after-bars are pretty fruitful, if you know what I mean. I remember when Alicia was back she asked Avs and I, "Don't you guys ever worry about running out of boys?" Well, before, yes, I did, but now that we've found a whole new oil geyser to use up like a true Bush, it'll be a while before it goes dry. The only down side is that the bars close 1 hour earlier there than in the SC, but that just gives you more time for after bar activities (heee heee heee).

Gettin' our hick on! Yeee- Haawww!!

Tonight Avs and I are going to Sioux Falls to see Brad Paisley in concert. We've been waiting for this for a super long time and can hardly wait the rest of the day! Brad is performing with Terri Clark and Billy Currington, which should make it an awesome concert. We're staying with some guys that Avs knows from high school so we can stay and party afterwards. I'll post the nights on-goings at a later date. YEEE-HAAWWW!